It's the starting of the week and I wanted to wake up early to travel to work, but it was raining so heavily at 6.30am. I really pity that my mum had to go work in this weather.

I have nothing exciting to post for my weekend. Friday night watching SCV after came back from ex colleagues gathering, fell asleep within 30mins watching TV

Sat went off to my scheduled appointment. Afternoon slept through till late evening. Watched SCV till 4am. Woke up at 10am, brought my dogs for yearly jab. Friends asked me out to join them for dinner. It's mid autumn festival yesterday and I actually wanted to stay home as I am feeling very moody and stress, but after few calls from them, I headed out around 5pm.

I have my PSP with me and before I reached, I received sms that they will be late, because their tourist friends are busy buying stuff in orchard. So I was all alone when I reach central mall. I was there for quite a while and I did not notice the time as I was playing my PSP. Received another call that they will come pick me to go hotel because tourist friends are tired and want a rest.

I rejected and said I will wait for them to arrive. After an hour, I had my mood swing. I realized my best friend is going home for dinner as it's mid autumn festival. I hate to be alone when there are festival like this and public holidays. Suddenly I am feeling that I am so alone in this mall and wonder did I wasted so many years to think that things will be better?

I called my friend to tell them that I am going home. Friend keep apologizing but it is really not his fault. To be a good host for foreign friends, one have to be accomodating.

I boarded the train and then phone very low bat and cannot be started...I kind of feel very relieved...I am serious..... It's like I'm uncontactable finally!!

I hope to go to some place alone and just be there disappearing from my friends. No one able to contact me in any way. To be out without thinking of work and issues. I wish I can have a place to throw anything that will not damage them to vent my anger...

I am sick of my friends and mum asking how come my weekend is just staying at home or so good ar..not going out. I do not seems to want to talk about my work and stuff, what are on my mind.

I do not have the strength even to throw temper....I am thinking, if one dun care, why should I bother? If no effort is done, why should I make extra effort? If I cannot finish my job, why should I bother? If system is slow, I just work slower...If feeling is empty, why feel it up? Just let it be....it is life....Maybe it should be the road I should take...to care less...I will be happier...

I am much better after having lunch with my friend and fun loving lunch kakis.